Today Trent, my aunt, the doctor, a nurse, a coordinator and I sat around a lovely little round table and discussed the possible treatment options I have.  The last five days have been so filled with fear, panic, sleeplessness and an overwhelming fear of dying.  Perhaps that was good planning because when I heard that I would need a masectomy but could live, I kind of felt like I’d hit the jackpot.  So, the good news is I only have cancer in one breast.  We don’t know if it is in my lymph nodes yet or exactly what stage it is.  We do know that it is not a small tumor and that there are two small ones in front of and in back of it.  We also know that if I have a lumpectomy, my lovely lady lumps won’t be so lovely anymore.  The doctor essentially said it would look defective.  So, I am opting for a masectomy with reconstruction at the same time.  Reconstruction is covered and so is any work I want done on the good breast so that when all is said and done, I’ll have a matching set.  Also, because they use the fat from my stomach to form the new breast with, when all is said and done, I will essentially have had a tummy tuck also.  It has occurred to me that this would be great if I was one of those plastic surgery junkies on a quest for physical perfection.  After the surgery (which sounds effing major and scary), I recover for 4 – 6 weeks and then get chemo.  I will lose my hair and Trent and I are already planning a head shaving party – come one, come all!!  How amazing is it that G-d gave me a man who loves me so much he’ll go bald for me.  How amazing is it that that same man is the one who finally taught me to wear a hat and be comfortable with it.  And finally the last amazing thing is, I quit smoking three months ago.  Had I NOT done that, they would have POSTPONED my surgery until I did.   Sometimes, as Sharon and Elizabeth say, G-d really does draw a straight line with a crooked pen.  L’Chaim!  (translation – To Life, in Hebrew).

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