The emotions, stress, and responsibilities of having cancer are huge.  Today my head is splitting.  I have forms that need to be filled out and hand delivered to Kaiser.  I am training a woman to fill in for me at work while I’m gone.  I am trying to schedule two surgeons together for a somehow appropriate and convenient time to perform a horrible, life-changing operation on me.  I am trying to figure out how to pay for this mind-numbingly crappy event.  I am petrified.  Trent tells me I’m “tough as a pine knot”.  But I’m not.  I’m tired.  I’m sad.  I’m fragile.  I’m over it.