I am in a new place these days.  It is a new dimension of life that I have never experienced.  There is something odd about knowing the date is set for my surgery.  There is an undertone to everything I do or say lately.  In the quiet of my mind, as life is whirling forward, I know that the feeling of wholeness in my body is coming to a close.  It is, like life, both bitter and sweet.  The sweetness is feeling whole and relishing it.  The feeling can’t be described really but it reminds me of that childhood song about anatomy – the armbone’s connected to the wristbone, etc.  I feel those connections these days and am grateful for them.  The bitterness, aside from the glaringly obvious, is the unknown.  I wonder what losing physical sensation will do to my emotional sensations.  I even wonder if it is possible for this tragedy, like all the others in my life, to one day be just another battle scar that ends up making me a different person.  My next dimension will, for a time, be more about my spiritual wholeness, than my physical wholeness.  But for now, in this new dimension, I am acutely aware of both and for the short time that I am in this place, I plan on enjoying it.

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