I saw the oncologist on Thursday.  Once again I was presented with statistics and options and asked to make a decision.  I had researched the forms of chemotherapy given to breast cancer patients as well as their side effects.  I walked into her office knowing what I wanted to do. 

This decision was less of a struggle than the  last one regarding reconstruction.  I am relying on my instincts to guide me more and more these days.  Of course, I believe my instinctual feelings are really just G-d tapping me on the shoulder.  Oh my goodness what I am learning through this whole experience. 

Yesterday on a whim I went into a salon and had my hair cut.  I cut ten inches off my hair and now have short hair.  I have always hated short hair but not this time.  It felt amazing to do that yesterday.  It felt empowering.  It feels like a good hairdo to have to go into battle with. 

Next week I will have the port placed in my neck and the week that follows my chemotherapy will begin.  I will have four sessions of chemo that take place over a three month period.  When the three months end, I can begin to live my new cancer-free life.  In the meantime, I am learning who I am, what matters and what doesn’t.

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