Last week was wonderful.  I began to feel really healthy and recovered from surgery. 

I relaxed and felt the peace that comes with just enjoying life with out worrying about tomorrow.  Trent and I had a moment to catch our breath, enjoy each other and love, love, love each other.  If I didn’t have cancer and two doctor appointments, last week would have made a lovely vacation.

Today begins a new week and with it comes more modern medicine and fear.  Today I have a consultation with the surgeon who will put my port in on Wednesday.  I will be sedated and although I just went through that well, I am terrified.  I absolutely hate that I have to take drugs. 

I am feeling sad today.  I have more difficult things to go through.  I think I could wrap my mind around the sedation, the port and chemo if I didn’t have to lose my hair also.  I hate cancer.  I’m tired of losing things I love and value to it. 

I am going to move forward.  I am going to persevere again and throw my heart, soul, health and hair into G-d’s lap and try my hardest to rest easy knowing He’ll take care of them in His way and in His time.

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