I was searching for an image representing sorrow and found this.  I LOVE IT.  First of all the likeness between me and the cartoon character is, well, shall we say, uncanny!  Second of all, it looks to me like the bald-headed warrior in this photo is burying her sorrow.  She still has a little red heart in her chest and I imagine that it is the happy, healthy, unbroken part of heart that remains above ground. 

Tomorrow is Monday.  This week will be one filled with lots of things I desperately do not want to do.  Monday I have to have blood drawn.  Tuesday I am having the picc line inserted.  Wednesday I have chemo.  At some point, I’ll have to shave my head down to the scalp.  And the weekend will be spent trying to recover from the chemo.

I didn’t know that I would dread chemo so much.  I thought this might get easier.  I was mistaken.  I can hardly believe that I am going to willingly allow someone to pour that poison into my veins again.  It certainly doesn’t feel like the chemo is killing cancer cells.  It absolutely feels like it is killing ME. 

I am doing the best I can to walk forward.  Every day I ask for strength and for G-d to walk with me.  And He does.  Today I am going to have a good day and try not to think about tomorrow again until tomorrow.  My moment of sorrow of what is to come is over. 

Besides…Trent is coming home today!!  That makes for a very full, unbroken, happy heart.

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