Today I claimed another piece of my survivorship.  I went back to work!!  It felt so deliciously normal to get up, get dressed, and drive to work.  I smiled all the way there.  I smiled all the way home.  For the first time since my battle with cancer has begun, I RECLAIMED something that cancer took from me.  Wow!

I have been thinking alot about being a cancer survivor recently.  According to my research, one is deemed a survivor from the moment of diagnosis.  I thought I knew a thing or two regarding survival before cancer.  Nothing, however, that I have ever been through has ever felt so intensely personal as this very battle. 

Cancer has taken my breast.  It has taken my hair.  It has assaulted my very femininity.  It has postponed my wedding.  It has rendered me temporarily disabled.  It has cost me and continues to cause me physical discomfort and pain.  It has given both me and the man I love nightmares.  It has shattered the comfort of normalcy that comes from doing the same thing, day in and day out, month in and month out.  It has sucked the safety from the air.

And Trent and I have fought back.  I reconstructed my breast.  Trent has looked me in the eye and told me from the bottom of his heart how beautiful he thinks I am.  Together we find moments for romance every day and in that way we reclaim my femininity.  I am back in the world of cubicles where the routine of work swirls around me like like a safety belt. 

For three months now, cancer has been kicking my ass.  It feels really good to steal a part of my life back from it.  It is going to feel even better when I look it in the eye and smile the next time I get to wash my hair.  It will feel better still when I stand before G-d and Trent and say I do.  These are things that I will do.  They are the fabric that create the quilt of my life as a breast cancer survivor.

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