If you haven’t already discovered the store in Perimeter Mall called Lush, let me introduce you to it.  It is on the second floor and is an unbelievably delicious onslaught for the senses.  They sell only handmade, all natural, soaps, moisturizers, bath fizzes, shower gels, skin care, o my G-d, just everything.  I am a firm believer that a bath can heal and calm the soul so for me, Lush, is a  no-brainer. 

Tonight I crumbled one of my meltable bath soaps into the tub and was surrounded by aroma and the softest bubbles.  I leaned back and I thought.  I thought about my decision to not take the chemotherapy drug, Taxol, based on a study that suggests it is not effective in estrogen-positive cancer.  I thought about the gamble. 

I thought about how for five years, I will have to take Tamoxifen.  Five years is a long time, I thought.  And then, like a bolt of lightning, it hit me.

Four and a half years ago this past February, I was lying alone in an empty apartment in Norcross.  I probably had breast cancer and didn’t even know it.  I was surrounded by pills and suicide notes and was on a mission to DIE. 

Had anyone told me then that I would not die, that I would find happiness, and that I would find the love of my life I would never have believed it.  Had they told me that I would come to value and love my  life so much that I would fight tooth and nail to SAVE it, well, let’s just say I probably would have taken all those pills. 

Sometimes I forget I am living on borrowed time.  But tonight, amid my bubbles, I remembered that every day after February 16, 2006, has been gravy.  G-d I’m glad I got to live to fight the breast cancer that almost never got the chance to kill me. 

Now how’s that for an epiphany!

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