today i had my last chemo treatment!!!!  my picc line was removed.  my breasts were examined and are both fine.  today I was told my cancer is in remission!!!!  I walked out of the oncologist office and into the bathroom where I stood against the door and sobbed the long awaited cry of relief.  For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can relax my focus and breathe.  I cried hard.  I took long, healing cancer-free deep breaths.  I took a moment to actually contemplate the fact that I might actually get to survive. 

Trent and I met with my oncologist and discussed the differences in my prognosis and if I did the Taxol my cure rate would be 82%.  If I don’t do the Taxol, the cure rate is 80%.  This made my decision a little easier.  Another two percent isn’t enough to entice me into three more months of hell and a very strong possibility of permanent neuropathy.

So, I am done.  I have four weeks to recover from this chemo and then I start the Tamoxifen.  I am not going to think about that now.  I am not going to think about or write about any possible negative things that could happen.  today, i was told i am cancer-free and that my prognosis is good.  that is all that matters right now! 

For now, all I have to think about is healing.  My body has been through an awful lot.  I feel it acutely.  In another three weeks, my body can start regenerating itself.  My hair can start to grow again.  and, finally, I can start to live, really LIVE, my life again!

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