Hi. I haven’t written in a long time. I have taken a semester off from cancer, if you will. I have spent the last five months (yes it has been that long since I finished my last chemo) regrouping, recuperating, recovering and rejoicing.
The human body is an amazing thing. It has been interesting and amazing watching and feeling my body slowly, slowly come back to a state of health. Bit by bit, day by day, improvements took place. The flush came back to my cheeks, the light came back into my eyes, my energy returned, the state of perpetual trauma moved slowly away (picture a big, puffy cloud slowly moving across the sky and into the horizon). And, last and certainly far from least, my hair started to grow. My eyelashes came back and they are long and luxurious and I love them. My eyebrows came back and my face has definition again. It has been a miracle to be inside this G-d-crafted shell and feel it go from broken and battered to well.
Speaking of well, it has been years since I have felt so good. I know now that all the crazy illnesses and freak infections I have had over the past few years were because my immune system was fighting cancer and not working so well for the every day bacteria, etc. in my environment. I had sinus infections that required round after round of antibiotic, I got cat scratch fever (wow, i know), I had periods where my left ankle got ridiculously swollen and nobody could tell me why….the list goes on. All the crazy ailments have gone away. I feel great. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!
Tomorrow I am scheduled to go back for my first of many three month oncology visits. I went for my blood work last week and found out my tumor marker went down by 7 points. This is good. I had been on the very highest edge of normal and now I am squarely in the normal range.
However, any trip to oncology causes trepidation and fear. I lay on the table and endure the breast exam – hardly breathing – until it is over and I’m told everything feels normal. I am hopeful that tomorrow, all will be normal again, and I can sit back and watch another season go by…cancer-free.