About two months ago, I found a lump in my right breast during my monthly self-exam. I cannot describe the fear that shot threw me. My hopes and dreams crashed to the floor. My mind began racing and it wasn’t pretty.
I saw my oncologist recently. I didn’t tell her about the spot in my right breast. However, she found it on her own and said it felt ok and “you’re having your mammogram in April anyway”. I left that appointment thinking the wait until April would kill me.
Remarkably, I think I’m completely unwilling and then find the phone in my hand begging the radiology department of Kaiser to push my mammogram appointment to the beginning of March. I just had to know.
So today was a carbon copy of my mammogram last year in many ways. I had to put a very pretty sticker over a not-so-pretty lump in my breast. I was told that they would need to do a sonagram to investigate the lump further. I sat in that same room again and held my breath as the radiologist rolled the machine across my chest. I held my breath and looked at the screen. And there it was. A perfect circle. I saw it and the radiologist said, “it’s just a cyst”. Never before has a fluid-filled sac seemed so miraculous and wonderful!!!
Last year, I went alone to my mammogram. This year, Trent met me there and was in the waiting room when I came out. Last year, when I looked at the screen of the sonogram my heart sunk. I had a black mass that covered a ton of the sceen and was far from circular or even. Last year, I was told I needed a biopsy and the weight in the room was enormous. This year, the radiologist was so happy for me. I was so happy for me.
I finally will be able to sleep tonight knowing for sure that I don’t have cancer in my right breast. I’m so glad I went. This is, finally, the “c” word I wanted to hear!