I began this blog because in times of crisis, I know to write.  I love stringing words together and I love human connection.  I adore my friends that follow this blog.  I write for me, for them and for the woman who one day finds herself in a position to scour the internet to find a blog written by a breast cancer survivor. 

My breast reconstruction is visually fantastic.  I researched myself into a frenzy about how to proceed as most of you know.  I have looked at hundreds and hundreds of before and after photos.  When I face the mirror, were it not for the scar tape, I look very, very close to how I looked before.  In fact, I recognize myself and that is an incredible gift.

It is, however, something of an optical illusion.  I see two breasts but I feel only one.  I look as though I have lost nothing but I have lost something important.  I don’t feel as though I’ve lost my femininity because it is still there but I do feel as though I have lost a large chunk of myself and at times I am acutely aware that there is a foreign body inside me.  Sometimes I just want to put it down