I began this blog because in times of crisis, I know to write. I love stringing words together and I love human connection. I adore my friends that follow this blog. I write for me, for them and for the woman who one day finds herself in a position to scour the internet to find a blog written by a breast cancer survivor.
My breast reconstruction is visually fantastic. I researched myself into a frenzy about how to proceed as most of you know. I have looked at hundreds and hundreds of before and after photos. When I face the mirror, were it not for the scar tape, I look very, very close to how I looked before. In fact, I recognize myself and that is an incredible gift.
It is, however, something of an optical illusion. I see two breasts but I feel only one. I look as though I have lost nothing but I have lost something important. I don’t feel as though I’ve lost my femininity because it is still there but I do feel as though I have lost a large chunk of myself and at times I am acutely aware that there is a foreign body inside me. Sometimes I just want to put it down
All I can say is “thank you” and love you